


Put Your Heart On Mine

by SereneCalamity



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alpha!Jace, Alternate Universe, Background Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mates, Pining, Sexual Content, Teen Wolf inspired, Werewolf AU, Werewolf Mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2019-08-10 00:10:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16459724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneCalamity/pseuds/SereneCalamity
Summary: They weren't friends, and they weren't pack. But Jace would die for her without a moment of hesitation. Werewolf AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New story! Hope you enjoy.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.

Clarissa Fray pursed her lips together, rolling her shoulders and closing her eyes for a few beats. She could hear everything going on around her, right down to the guy who sat three desks over and had an annoying habit of grinding his teeth. That was just meant to be something people did at  _night_ , and yet she had to put up with this through the day. Then there was the girl in the office down the hall, one of the executives at the company, who had been having phone sex for the past ten minutes.

And it had been  _bad_  phone sex.

It had Clary cringing at her desk and wrinkling her nose.

Then there were the normal, intense mingling of smells that were filling the place—cheap perfume,  _expensive_  perfume, a range of different shampoo and conditioners, body odor—usually these were all things that Clary could drown out.

But it had been getting harder and harder lately.

For the past thirteen months and two days, to be exact.

Clary took in a deep breath and got up from her seat, walking toward the bathroom, her heels clipping on the tiled floors. There had been carpet when she had first started here, which had been good on the hearing, the shuffle and smack and slap of shoes and heels on the tiles frustrated her no end, sharp and grating on her eardrums, but then the downside of carpet was that  _so much_  got caught up in the strands, spillages from peoples coffee and plates as they walked over it, and what got dragged in on their shoes, and that irritated her nose.

The problems with working in a building with hundreds of other people.

Or...The problems when her wolf was constantly on edge, scratching at her insides, snapping over every frustrating move, whining inside her head.

She pushed open the bathroom door, and her eyes rolled at the sharp smell of disinfectant mixed together with the huge array of flowers on the vanity unit that was trying to mask that chemical smell. She went into the toilet stall farthest from the vanity—she liked the smell of flowers as much as the next girl, but there were far too many in this tiny room, and mingled together with the chemicals, it was bordering on nauseating.

If she had the actual capability of being sick, she'd be throwing up.

Clary sat down on the closed toilet lid, resting her elbows on her knees and then burying her head in her hands. She took in some deep breaths through her mouth, purposefully not through her nose, and tried to quiet her mind.

Tried to quiet her wolf.

It had been getting worse, a hell of a lot worse in the past few weeks.

She could feel her wolf scratching and crying out, she felt as though she was constantly on edge, the little hairs on her arms and the back of her neck were always sticking up and there was a pounding in the back of her head that sounded like what humans said headaches were. She couldn't sleep properly, her dreams were all weird and complex and there were dark shapes that moved out of the shadows and made it feel as though she was being consumed, and through the day she found it hard to concentrate and focus on her work, even though she loved what she did.

" _Fuck_ ," Clary hissed out, turning her nails inward so that they pressed into her head. She kept on pressing, harder and harder, until she felt a trickle of blood and then she sighed and stopped, pulling her hands away. There were drops of blood under each of the three middle nails on both hand and she pressed her lips together as she sighed again. She got up off the toilet seat, smoothing her hands down over the dark grey pencil skirt that she was wearing and unlocked the door of the stall. She walked over the sinks, putting some soap on her hands and washing them, the blood turning pink as it mingled together with the water and slid down the sink. She ran her fingers through her hair, shaking it out so that it wasn't so obvious where she had pressed her hands against, and she knew that the little crescent indents that she had made with her nails would already be healed.

When she got back to her desk, she didn't bother sitting down. She picked up her phone and her bag and continued walking, down the hallway toward the main receptionist desk and then to the elevators. After she pressed the button to go down, she dialed the contact that was listed as her top favourite in the her contacts.

"Clary?" Simon Lewis' voice filtered through.

"I need you. Now," she stated as the doors dinged open and she stepped inside.

"I can be at your apartment in twenty five."

* * *

Clary felt better.

Not great, but better.

"Thanks," she murmured as she sat up on her couch, swinging her legs off where they had been stretched out and putting them on the ground. She could feel the waves of magic still rolling over her skin, acting as a cover up, not an actual fix to her problem, and she closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths.

"Here," Simon said quietly, picking up her shirt from where it had been tossed and passing it back to her. Clary took it and twisted the thin material around in her hands before tugging it over her head. "It's not going to keep working, Clary," he murmured and she sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. Her make up was nowhere near as perfect as it had been, smeared and smudged from the sweat that had built up throughout her session with Simon. The room was dimly lit, none of the lights turned on, and the only light was coming through the thin slats of the wooden blinds that Clary had mostly turned all the way shut.

"It's working for now," Clary muttered, even though she knew that he was right. She rubbed her hand over her temples and then over her eyes and when she pulled her hand away, she saw a smear of black and silver, from her eyeliner and eye shadow, which had begun melting off her face.

"Barely," Simon rolled his eyes and Clary narrowed her eyes as she looked up at him. He didn't say anything else though, leaving the lounge and heading through the door beside her bookshelf that lead to the kitchen. She heard him open the fridge and rummage around, and then a cupboard. She tuned him out then, slumping back into the couch and laying her head back into the cushions. She felt sleepy, like she did whenever Simon finished with her, and she felt herself falling asleep, her mind finally feeling peaceful enough for her to get some rest. "Clary?" Simon was back at her side, gently shaking her shoulder and she opened her eyes. He was handing her a glass of water—iced water from the fridge, based on the condensation that had already gathered on the sides of the glass. She gave him a small smile, pulling herself into a upright position again and taking the glass, drinking from it, finishing almost the whole glass in one gulp. "Something's not right," he stated.

"I know," Clary agreed.

"No, not just...Not just since  _then_ ," Simon said, shaking his head and frowning, looking out the large window behind the couch, through the slim gaps in the wooden slats. "Something else. Something recent."

"I  _know_ ," Clary repeated and he gave her a sharp look.

"What is it?" He asked.

"That's the part I  _don't_  know," Clary drained the rest of the glass and leaned forward to put it down on the coffee table.

"Why didn't you tell me something was different?" Simon didn't look happy. And that sucked. Simon was her best friend, her closest ally, and he had this face like a puppy dog, and it was never nice to see a sad puppy dog. Clary sighed and moved to the edge of the couch, hanging her head forward, feeling her hair tumble down around her face, the roots a little damp from sweat and and she could feel some strands sticking to her forehead her cheeks, and she tugged at her shirt. She had only been wearing a bra, and it felt constricting under the shirt, and she honestly just wanted to strip down to  _nothing_  and run.

But she couldn't do that here, not in the middle of the city.

That had been part of the reason that she had come here in the first place.

"Has anyone different been around? Have you smelt anyone? Have you got into a fight recently?" Simon began rattling off questions, but Clary's mind had only just quieted, and she really didn't want to get into any of this now.

She just wanted to  _sleep_.

"Si..." she began and Simon pressed his lips together in a thin line. He pushed up the glasses that were perched on his nose—she teased him about those glasses tirelessly, called them his hipster glasses,  _why_  did a warlock need glasses anyway?—and he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

"Okay," he agreed. "Okay, I'll leave it alone. But..." he glanced around her apartment, the small life that she had made for herself over the past few years, and his fingers twitched at his side. "Let me strengthen your wards before I go." Clary nodded, getting up off the couch and beginning to walk out of the room, trusting Simon in her space without her watching over him, and heading toward her bedroom. She didn't bother shutting her door as she got to the room, stripping out of her clothes, letting them puddle on the floor, not caring if Simon caught a glimpse of her because nudity was something that almost every werewolf just didn't give a shit about.

Then Clary fell onto her bed, face down on the pillow, and she was fast asleep, feeling the hum of Simon's magic around her.

* * *

When Clary woke up, it was night. It was dark outside. The blinds in her room were fully closed, so Simon must have come in. There was also a glass of water on the bedside table next to her, now room temperature as she reached out and picked it up, but Simon must have put it there before he had left. A small, appreciative smile graced her lips as she rolled over and reached out for the glass. Her mouth was dry, and she finished the whole thing before getting up. She didn't bother fully dressing, going over to drawers and taking out a pair of underwear and a silk, sleeping shirt—that she never really slept in, because she hated sleeping in many clothes—and then headed toward the kitchen. Her phone was on the bench in the kitchen, where she had dropped it when she had come home that afternoon, and she made a face when she saw the time.

Half past nine.

She had been asleep for nearly five hours.

She felt a hell of a lot better now, though.

Clary went the cupboard, opening it up and thinking about what she was going to have for dinner, when she froze.

She felt  _a hell_  of a lot better.

Like...Almost  _completely_  better.

That wasn't something that Simon's magic could do.

That wasn't something  _anyones_  magic could do.

No one...Except  _him_.

Clary's breathing quickened, she felt her chest lifting and falling rapidly, and she spun around. She looked in the direction of the front door and then toward the windows and then back toward the short hall that lead to the front door.

He couldn't be here.

This was New York and he was on the outskirts of Los Angeles.

He  _wouldn't_  be here.

Clary closed her eyes, tipping her head back, clenching onto the edge of the bench behind as she tried to figure out exactly what was going.

Maybe she wasn't better. Maybe she had just gone back to however she had been before, a couple of weeks ago, when she wasn't feeling good, but she wasn't quiet as on edge as she was now. Maybe she was just back to being  _half_  as bad as she had been feeling for so _fucking long_  now.

She had been...Off for a long time.

Since she was seventeen, actually.

But she had always been able to live with it. There had been things wrong with her and her life and her wolf from the time she had been born on this earth, and she had always gotten through it. She was strong and she was a fighter and had always managed to get through whatever shit life threw at her.

Thirteen months ago, though, she had taken a hit—her  _wolf_  had taken a hit—that she hadn't been able to bounce back from.

That hole inside her had grown, and the shadows that had been hovering over her for so long had started spreading. Her wolf was agitated and scratching and whining and she didn't feel strong or whole. She had always known that staying here, staying in the city, staying  _away_  was going to hurt, but up until thirteen months ago, when  _he_  had become complete, she hadn't realized just how  _much_  it was going to hurt.

She was older now, and she wasn't a scared and lonely seventeen year old, and she was comfortable and confident, she could look after herself and—

Clary's eyes flashed open and they were no longer their usual bright green colour, but a glittering beta gold.

 _He_  was here.

Clary gulped in breaths, her claws extending from her nail beds, harsh and digging into the wood of the bench, pressing tiny holes into the bench, and she shook her head, trying to get rid of the gold in her eyes. Her vision was blurred around the edges, and her wolf was rearing her head and then she felt this incredibly calming feeling stretch through her limbs, settling in her muscles, and there was this heavy slide in her mind, warm and comforting.

There was a sharp knock on the door and her head jerked, her wolf fucking howling inside her chest.

Clary knew who it was before she even opened the door.

She knew who it was before she even left her kitchen and came through to lounge and headed toward the front door.

She could feel it in her blood, she could feel it humming underneath her skin, and she took in a deep shaky breath before opening the door.

Jace Herondale was standing there, flanked by two other werewolves.

"It's time for you to come home, Clary," he told her, his voice leaving no room for argument.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update! Thanks for your patience :)

Clary had a lot of things going through her mind as she went to her bedroom and opened her wardrobe. She had a couple of overnight bags hooked by their long straps next to her dresses, shirts and skirts and she unhooked one, dumping it on her bed and then looking around. She could hear the three werewolves in her lounge, in her space, and their scent filled her nose. She tried to push it all out of her mind—at least for now—and she began pulling things out of her drawers. She couldn't take much, but she could always get Simon to bring her some more things or,  _hopefully_ , she would be back soon, and she could get more herself.

She didn't bother with any of her nice, work clothes or pretty, lacy dresses from the wardrobe, just taking out her leather jacket with the soft, suede material on the inside and a thick, fuzzy jumper that she had brought when her and Simon were in Paris last Christmas. She only just managed to pull the zipper closed after shoving a few pairs of jeans and shorts, a couple of sets of underwear and bras and then as many shirts as possible, and then she picked up her bag, slinging the long strap over her shoulder. She had properly gotten dressed, in a dark pair of jeans and an actual bra and then an off the shoulder shirt.

She'd had to change her shirt twice, because the first one she had pulled out had been Simon's, saturated with their mingled scents since it had been in her drawers for the past few weeks, and while that was comforting to her, she knew that it wouldn't be for Jace.

So she took it off, and found another shirt.

Clary didn't look in the mirror, because she knew that the expression on her face would be one of fear and nervousness, and she really didn't need to psyche herself out anymore than she already was. She shoved her fingers through her hair in a harried attempt to tame it from it's sleep-tousled state and then jerked it back in a ponytail, not pausing before leaving the bedroom, because if she tried to take a minute to centre herself, she would probably break the window in her room and leap out of it.

Clary knew the man who was standing in the lounge, next to Jace. It was one of his cousins, Alexander Lightwood, who was also one of his best friends. The Lightwoods were a good, solid family in the werewolf world, although not quite as strong the Herondales. He was better known as Alec, although Clary wasn't sure  _she_  was allowed to call him that. His piercing blue eyes followed her as she came into the lounge, gripping the strap tightly in her hand. She didn't know the girl with the brunette, curly hair, but judging from the scars on her neck, she was a warrior. Clary respected that.

Jace walked over to her as she came into the room, his golden eyes flickering over her but his expression carefully blank. He reached out and Clary's eyes widened, worried that he was going to try and touch her. But he just hooked two fingers underneath the strap of her bag, taking it off her shoulder and resting it over his own. Clary's breathing hitched and she tried to keep steady eye contact as he stared at her.

He would look pretty if he smiled.

He was bloody gorgeous  _anyway_ , but if he smiled...

Clary blinked and dropped her eyes first, dipping downward, landing on her feet, which were bare. She curled her toes downward, pressing into the carpet below.

"It smells like something dead in here," the curly haired girl said with a sniff, looking around with a frown. Clary didn't bother answering that statement, because she knew what the girl was talking about.

Raphael Santiago.

A vampire.

"We should go," Alec stated stiffly. His fingers twitched at his side, looking at the bag over Jace's shoulder, as though he wanted to take the weight and carry it. But Jace's hand rested almost protectively over the bag that was at his side and he didn't make any comment. Although, Clary did see his eyes narrow a little and flick up to her, but then he looked away again, pursing his lips together. Jace looked at Clary, an eyebrow arched, question in his eyes.

"I've got everything," Clary said quietly and he nodded. The girl and Alec headed toward the door, opening it and walking out first. Clary slipped into a pair of shoes at the door and picked up her keys from where they were on a hook by the door, and her handbag from the hallway table. Jace waited for Clary to follow after them before walking close behind her. She could feel his presence at her back, and she wanted to shiver and to curl up against him, but at the same time, she wanted to force her body to stay completely unchanged by him and run as far as she could get. She compromised with herself by stiffly locking her apartment door and putting one foot in front of the other, keeping her face pointedly facing forward. They took the elevator down to the ground floor, not seeing anyone else as they walked through the front lobby and out the front door, and there was a sleek, black car parked at the curb.

Clary barely held back her snort.

 _Of course_  they had managed to get a park right outside the apartment building.

There were never parks on the New York street, and yet they were parked right outside.

Alec went to move to the drivers seat and there was a clicking from the curly haired girl and she shot him a glare. Alec rolled his eyes and tossed the keys at her and she got in the drivers seat while Alec got in the passenger side. Jace opened up the back door and Clary felt her stomach twist at the fact they were going to be sitting right next to each other, but she got inside, sliding over the to the other side and clasping her hands together on her lap. Jace took a moment, putting her bag into the boot of the car, and then he was getting in next to her and they pulled away from the curb.

She didn't know how long she was going to be, but she was going to need to tell Simon that she was leaving. He always showed up at her place the morning after one their sessions together, just to check on her, and if she wasn't there, then he would freak out.

However, if she text him and told him that she was going to be out of town for a bit, he would blow up her phone with texts or, worse, start calling her. So she opened up her messages and tapped on the name of the second one down.

 _Raph_.

Clary paused for a moment, wondering what she was meant to say. But it wasn't as though she needed to explain herself to Raphael, and that was one of the good things about their—their  _friendship_ —was that he didn't ask all that many questions, respecting her privacy. So she just tapped out a short message.

_Can you please tell Si that I'm going out of town for a bit? I'll talk to him more later._

Jace glanced over at her as her phone vibrated, only a minute after she had sent her message, and she purposefully tipped her phone just a little to the side, toward the window, so that there was no chance of him seeing the message. Not that she thought that he was trying to spy, she knew that wasn't what he was doing, but she felt a creeping feeling of guilt on her side.

_Of course. You okay?_

Clary was grateful for the short reply.

_Yup. I'm fine. I'll call later, okay?_

_Okay_ , came his reply and Clary didn't answer that one, turning her phone face down on her lap and staring out the window.

The whole car was tense, although the girl driving was admittedly the calmest.

Or maybe Jace was, she was just projecting how tense _she was_  onto him.

Jace certainly seemed calm, slouched a little in the seat, one hand stretched out along the windowsill and staring out the window, taking in the city around him. His other hand was resting on his knee, and he wasn't fidgeting or tapping his fingers, like Clary was tempted to do. She took in a deep breath, trying to squash that nervousness in her stomach and focus on the good.

The fact that the ache in her heart was gone.

The fact her wolf was no longer in distress.

The fact that she actually felt  _good_  for the first time in a long time.

They got to the airport and Jace got out first, and then Alec, although the girl was still in the drivers seat. Clary was taking in a few breaths, trying to centre herself, and the girl twisted to look back at her with a questioning look. But then her door was opening, Jace giving her an expectant look with her bag slung over her shoulder and she got out. Jace looked as though he wanted to reach out for her, like he had in the apartment, but he didn't, just giving her a quick nod before they started walking into the airport.

"Maia will meet us at security," Alec stated, and that must have been the name of the girl who was driving the car. Jace nodded again, letting Alec lead the way, keeping his strides shorter than normal to match Clary's. Clary shoved one hand into the back pocket of her jeans while the other gripped her phone, and she glanced up at the flashing boards announcing the flights as they walked through the terminal.

Clary was sort of...In a daze as Alec handed over their tickets and then they moved on to security. Not in a bad way, not in the way that she had been feeling for the past year, but because her wolf and her body were still catching up with the fact that he was there. It was a soothing feeling that, just him being close, and it was spreading through her limbs, relaxing her completely.

She wanted to sleep.

For a really,  _really_  long time now, she just hadn't been calm enough to have a deep, proper sleep. When she slept, her dreams were haunted and her body just twisted and turned. She hadn't felt rested in so long, and with him being there...Her body and mind trusted him and they were finally telling her that she could switch off and rest.

Jace kept glancing down at her as they made their way to security, Maia Roberts running to catch up with them, obviously having dropped off the car, and Clary knew that Jace could sense her drowsiness.

Part of her  _wanted_  him to reach out and steady her, put his hand on her back of her neck, or wrap his fingers around her wrist, but she was grateful that he didn't. That he respected the need for distance. That he knew the difference between what she wanted and what she needed. That he moved close enough to her that she could feel his soothing comfort, yet far enough away that she didn't feel overwhelmed.

After they went through security, they headed toward the loading bay. It turned out the flight that they were getting on was leaving damn soon, it seemed as though they had come and gotten her with just a few minutes to spare. Maia was happy, and her and Alec obviously had a good relationship, because even though he was trying to keep his face stoic, Maia teased him and jabbed him in the side with her finger, and Clary could smell the familiar, happy, comforting smells coming off both of them. They were pack and they were better when they were together.

Jace liked what he saw when he watched them as well, it was obvious that he was proud of his pack mates.

Clary liked that he was happy.

A lot of the time he wasn't, and she knew that she was a huge part of that.

They loaded onto the plane, which wasn't too full, which was good. They were seated near the back, two seats in one row and then two the row behind it, obviously the tickets brought at the last minute so unable to all be together. Maia and Alec moved to take the seats in the front, a little squabble breaking out over who got the window seat. Clary couldn't hold back her smile, and she bit down on her lower lip to try and suppress it. Jace just had a long-suffering expression on his face as he stored Clary's bag in the overhead and indicated that she take the window seat in their row. She gave him a small smile and shuffled in, making herself comfortable.

Jace moved in to sit next to her.

Clary took in a deep breath, her chest rising and falling, and she wondered if she should say something.

 _Anything_.

But then the flight attendants were all big smiles even though Clary could blatantly smell the annoyance and tiredness flowing off as they walked down the aisles to check their seatbelts and begin to go through the safety instructions. So she stayed quiet, wiggling a little in her seat to make herself comfortable, pulling down the cover of the window beside her.

The engine began whirring and then the plane began moving.

Clary's eyes were drooping as Jace moved his arm, resting it against her on the arm rest between them. She felt that pressure of his arm against hers like a wave flowing over her body, a warm, calming wave. Their arms were touching from the elbow right down to her pinky finger, and the heaviness in her mind just became more and more.

She fell asleep quickly, the fastest and deepest she had slept in a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

When Clary's eyes opened, Jace was giving her a soft look. She blinked at him, yawning and lifting a hand to rub it over her face.

"Not been sleeping, huh?" Jace asked quietly, a concerned look on his face, and Clary sighed. There really wasn't much point in disagreeing with that, because these past five and a half hours was the most sound sleep that she had had in over a year. Jace just gave her a gentle smile before resting back in his own seat, looking toward the front of the plane. They were on their downward descent, and Clary felt her stomach twist into knots.

They were going to be back in Los Angeles.

They  _were_  in Los Angeles.

She hadn't been back in two years, and even when she had gone back then, she had only been there for three days, and she had flown into one of the smaller airports of a city nearby and then  _driven_  to her destination. Pretty much anything to avoid not getting in contact with Jace.

When they landed, they all filed off the plane, Jace taking her bag out of the overhead and walking behind her, close enough that she could feel the heat coming off him, but far enough back that she wasn't crowded by him—and also not crowded by anyone else, which she was thankful for. They went through the security check points and were then making their way through the terminal. Alec and Maia were leading the way toward some pay machines for parking, and Clary couldn't help but think about what was happening next.

Were they going back to Jace's place?

She wasn't prepared for that.

Her heartbeat had obviously picked up, due to her nervousness, because Jace gave her a look and she tried to slow it down, breathing in and out slowly. Jace didn't say anything, although Alec looks back at her before he fishes his wallet out of his back pocket and takes out a parking ticket. He puts it into the machine and then puts in his credit card, and then steps aside for Jace to do the same thing, so obviously they had brought two cars.

She tries not to think about what that means.

As they're heading toward the lifts, Clary checks one of the clocks on the wall and saw that it was just after eleven o'clock and she winced.

Time differences were a bitch.

The four of them all got out on the same floor, but then Alec and Maia paused.

"I'll see you later," Jace told them both pointedly, before beginning to walk towards steps that lead up to another level. Clary glanced at them both, noting the way Alec's eyes were narrowed and Maia's eyes were a little concerned, but then she turned away to follow after Jace, who was gripping her bag tightly and walking with long strides. Clary jogged a little to catch up with him, and after climbing the stairs, his car was parked only a few spots over. It was a sleek car, a shining black Camaro, and Clary paused as he unlocked it with the fob that he pulled out of his pocket and then popped the boot, putting her bag inside. Then he moved around to the drivers side, giving her a pointed look and so she moved to the passenger side.

And then they were alone.

In an enclosed space.

Clary took in a deep breath as she closed the door and pulled on the seat belt, even though it was all just for show. She smoothed her hands over her her thighs and leaned back into the leather of the seats and took in another deep breath.

Which was a bad idea.

Because all she got on the inhale was a strong scent of  _Jace_ , and it made her feel a lot dizzy.

She must have let out a noise, because Jace glanced over at her with a quirk of his eyebrow, before he turned the key in the ignition and the Camaro started. It purred, and the car was obviously well looked after, and Clary rolled her shoulders backward and fixed her eyes forward as they reversed out of the parking spot and then drove toward the concrete ramps that lead down and out of the parking complex.

At first, Clary wasn't sure where they were going.

She leaned forward in her seat and was looking around, having been away from Los Angeles for a long time.

The streets all felt the same, and it was similar to New York, in the fact that it was still alive in the middle of the night, but it just didn't feel as harried and rushed as her home for the past few years had been. She smiled a little to herself, feeling a bit sad, before leaning back in her seat.

She felt tired again.

She had napped at home, after Simon had helped her, but that had been a sleep out of necessity.

This was different.

Now, Clary's body felt relaxed and safe, and it was because of Jace.

His scent and his wolf soothed her—soothed  _her_  wolf.

Clary tried to focus on the music that was playing softly. She didn't recognize the artist, it was a girl with a pretty, lilting voice. She listened to the lyrics, paying close attention to them not because it was a particularly amazing song, but because it gave her something to do rather than think about the fact that Jace was sitting just a few inches away from her.

He smelt  _so good_.

"Where are we going?" Clary asked after about twenty minutes of quiet in the car.

"I'm taking you to Luke's," Jace replied, and instantly, he could smell her relief flooding through the car. She tried to suppress it, he knew that she didn't want him feeling  _bad_  about the fact that she was happy he wasn't taking her back to his place, but she couldn't.

She'd have a hard time hiding it from any werewolf, but  _especially_  from Jace.

She really didn't stand a chance.

"Thank you," Clary murmured and Jace turned his head partially toward her, a small smile on his face in response. It wasn't a particularly happy smile, which she could understand, because he had just flown across the country to get her, and now he was about to drop her off and leave her again, but at least she would be a whole lot closer.

They were quiet for a long time, and Clary actually ended up falling asleep. It was somewhere just out of the city, as they got onto the highway. It was a peaceful sleep, something so completely different to the times that she had slept in the past couple of years. It wasn't until she heard her name being repeated, softly but over and over again, that she woke up and she blinked rapidly a few times, surprised at how heavy her mind and body felt.

Heavy because of how comfortable she felt, not on edge or jerking out of sleep like usual.

"Hey," Jace said quietly, keeping his voice low, letting her wake up slowly. Clary yawned, rubbing a hand over her face, and then looked out the window. They were parked up outside a house...A house she had only been to a couple of times, and one of the last times she had been there, she had been covered in blood and she had slashes ripping down her arm from her father. "Hey," Jace repeated, although this time, the word sounded a bit different. Concerned.

He could smell the change in her mood as easily as he could sense his own.

"It's alright," Jace continued. "I don't—I can take you somewhere else. We can get you a hotel room or something, it's just—" he broke off, but Clary knew what he was getting at. He wanted her to be somewhere comfortable, somewhere familiar, and going to a hotel wasn't the best idea, given there were very few places that were cleaned well enough that they didn't have that cloying scent of all the people before them. It was  _her_  turn to smell the shift in him, feel it crawl over her skin.

He was nervous and he was upset that  _she_  was upset.

"It's okay," Clary reassured him, and part of her instinctively wanted to reach out and touch his arm or his knee, but she stopped herself. She had gotten better over the years, actually listening to her instincts rather than smothering them down like she had ever since she was a pup, but she still wasn't going to let herself be completely open with Jace.

Or any kind of open, really.

"I'll be okay," Clary said as she unbuckled her seat belt and let it slip back into it's place against the door. "And if I'm not, I've got other places I can go." She didn't really know if she did, actually, given how long she had been away from this place, but she didn't want to worry Jace with that.

"If you're not, then call me, okay?" Jace told her earnestly and Clary nodded, because she didn't really have any other response. He glanced back toward the house and then reached for the handle of his door. "I text Luke and told him that we would be coming, and he would have heard us pull up." Clary knew that Luke would have heard them pull up, but she hadn't realized that Jace would have text ahead. She didn't know that they were close enough to have each others phone numbers, Luke had never mentioned it to her.

Although, she could understand why.

"I didn't want you to feel as though you couldn't talk to him," Jace said softly, being able to figure out what it was that Clary was thinking pretty much spot on. He wasn't a mind reader, fortunately there were only a couple of warlocks and vampires out there who could do that, werewolves weren't part of the gifted.

He could just sense every chemosignal coming off her and read every micro-expression on her face.

"It's okay," Clary muttered, pushing open her door and getting out of the car. It had to be around one in the morning by now, she would have to change the time on her phone to Los Angeles time. She stretched her arms above her head and took in a deep breath of the clean, fresh air around her. There was a slight salty tinge to the air as well, coming up from the ocean that was only a few miles away.

It smelt like home, but it didn't  _feel_  like home, and the way her body and her mind and her wolf were all disconnected made her itch all over.

Jace walked around the back of the car and opened up the boot, taking out her bag and slipping it over his shoulder, obviously intent on carrying it into the house. Clary didn't bother arguing with him because she knew it was pointless. Not that she wasn't stubborn, but she knew how to pick her battles, and carrying a bag wasn't one of them. As he shut the boot, he held out his hand.

"Your phone," he said softly when Clary gave him a questioning look. She pulled it out of her back pocket, unlocking it with her a couple of taps on the glass since it was too dark to pick up her face. She handed it over to him and he keyed a few things in and a moment later, she heard a low buzz, and she was guessing that he had sent a text from her phone to his, so that he would have her number. "My numbers in there," he told her as he handed it back. "If you need anything, call me," he paused and his lips twisted together, in a sort of resigned look. "Or...Text me. If that's easier."

She appreciated that.

She appreciated  _all_  of this.

She knew how lucky she was.

She just...Wasn't any good at putting that into words and actions.

Primarily with Jace.

"Okay. I will," Clary answered and Jace raised an eyebrow at her. It had come out easily, even though she knew she wouldn't do it, and he obviously heard the skip in her heart beat, a sure tell that she was lying. He didn't move from where he was standing beside his car, even as she took a step around him, in the direction of the house. She sighed, taking in a full body breath and feeling the air flow through her, into her limbs and twitching her fingers. "I will," she repeated, and meant it this time.

Her heart beat was steady, and Jace heard that, and he gave her a small smile, almost a real one this time.

They both began walking toward the steps that lead up to the house, and as though he knew it was time, Luke Greymark opened the front door of the house. He was wearing a soft pair of plaid pyjama pants and a loose singlet, but his face was completely alert, eyes sharp as he looked over the two werewolves in front of him.

"Alpha Herondale," Luke nodded his head in a slow nod, before letting his eyes glow at Jace.

"Alpha Greymark," Jace responded formally, with a nod of his own, his red eyes burning. They both faded back to their human eye colour and Clary felt a shiver go through her as she looked up at Luke. He gave her a warm smile, his whole body giving off a comforting that had her nearly tripping up the stairs to get close to him.

"Hey, pup," Luke murmured against her hair as he pulled her in tight against him. Clary's whole body went calm, although that wasn't say anything against Jace, it was just because her mind actually let herself relax when it came to Luke. Her wolf was completely happy when it came to Jace, it was just her human half that held back, that was trying to protect herself. Clary threw herself at Luke and felt herself mold into his body as his arms came around him, holding her in tight. She wasn't sure how long she let herself lean against him, but it had been far too long since she had seen him. When they finally pulled back, Luke leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

Clary caught a scent off Jace in the breeze.

Sadness.

And that made her wolf churn in her gut, and she pulled back from Luke to look back over at Jace.

He was keeping a neutral expression on his face, even though both other werewolves could smell the sadness that was swirling around him. Clary took in deep breath through her mouth, rather than through her nose, and she stepped down the top step, closer to Jace. Luke moved behind her, and she felt his hand touch her shoulder before he went back inside, leaving the door slightly ajar for when Clary was ready to come in.

"Thank you," Clary said quietly. To be fair, it wasn't as though Jace had given her much of a choice, but she knew why he had come.

He would have been feeling that same trouble, that same danger, that some feeling that something was wrong that she had been feeling. He would have felt it strongly, and he acted in this way to make sure that she was safe. Part of her should be angry that he gave her no choice but to fly all the way back here, completely disrupting her life, but she could hold that out for later.

Right now, she was just enjoying the fact that she didn't feel sick for the first time in a long time.

She felt  _safe_.

"You'll be pissed later," Jace responded in a voice that sounded so knowing and familiar, even though they  _weren't_  familiar with each other. But Clary couldn't help but smile a little, at the fact that he seemed to know her, even though they had barely ever spent any time together.

"Yeah, I will be," Clary shrugged a shoulder. "But I know why you did it." Jace gave her a soft look. She ran her fingers through her hair, which was feeling a little matted, from her sleep back in her apartment, then her sleep again on the plane, and then her sleep  _again_  in the car, and she really needed a shower and to brush her hair. Jace looked away, toward the forestry that surrounded the huge house that Luke now owned.

Just a few kilometers away had been the house that she had grown up in.

Or, at least, it had been there.

Before Clary had lit the match and watched it go up in flames.

Her mother and brother had understood.

Hell, her brother had been the one with gasoline in his hand, dosing the places before the threw the match.

It wasn't as though it had ever been an  _actual_  pack home, so it wasn't a place that Clary missed, or anyone who had been in the Morgenstern, now Greymark, pack.

She just wished she could burn it down all over again.

"Trees have grown there," Jace mentioned idly. "And grass." Clary pursed her lips together and dropped her head. She hadn't been in that direction since she had initially burnt it down, which was just over six years ago. "It smells a lot better..." he murmured and Clary nodded at him, shoving a hand into the front pocket of her jeans.

"It couldn't really smell any worse," she stated. Jace nodded slowly, but he didn't say anything else. After a few more moments, he slipped the strap of her bag off his shoulder and handed it up to her, stepping up one of the three steps to pass it to her. Clary took it, two steps above him, but only about an inch taller. Jace stepped up again, and Clary's jaw clenched for a moment, wondering what he was going to do. He hesitated, but then he lifted his hand to wrap it around her neck, not in a hold that she couldn't break, but still firmly, his palm pressed to the side of her throat.

Clary's eyes nearly rolled back into her head at the pleasure and safety that suddenly rushed over her, just at the simple touch.

Her breathing came out in short gasps and she felt her whole body melting under the touch.

Jace pulled away a moment later, and gave her the a first proper, genuine smile.

It warmed her wolf.

"I'll see you soon, Clary," his voice was gentle as he stepped away, walking backwards down the steps and to his car. It was only once he got to the door that he broke eye contact and turned away.

Clary watched him—her  _mate_ —drive away, chewing down on her lower lip.


	4. Chapter 4

Jace didn't drive straight home.

Or, he did drive back to his  _property_ , but instead of carrying up the main driveway, he turned down one of the side driveways, one that lead toward an old barn house that he had been renovating in the past couple of months. It had been there for years, although as long as his mother had been living on the property, it had never been used, and had just been left to rot away. When Jace was younger, he used to play there with some of the other pups, and then in the past year, he had found himself straying there more and more.

If he was being honest, it would be nice to have a little place away from the main house.

Not all of his pack lived there, but a majority of them did.

And there were certain members of his pack who had a lot of difficulty when it came to personal space. Not that there  _was_  much when it came to a wolf pack, but Jace sometimes liked to have somewhere of his own, that was quiet, let him think.

It was still dark, just after two in the morning, but there was a clearing of trees where the barn house was, and when Jace got out of his car and looked up at the sky, he could see the stars winking down at him and he could see the moon shining brightly, catching the tops of the trees that circled the clearing. Jace paused before slipping out of his jacket and tossing it back into his car, taking in a deep breath and inhaling the warm scent of Clary. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment before he straightened up and slammed the door of the car shut.

Years.

It had been  _years_  since he had seen Clary.

Not quite as long since he had heard from her, because she had called him just before Christmas last year. The conversation had been completely formal, and stiff, asking for his permission to come into the city to see Luke and her family. Jace hated that they were so distant and awkward with each other, when she was asking question to the local Alpha to come into the city was just meant to be something by unrelated werewolves, ones without any link to the pack. Jace knew for a fact that Clary usually flew into San Diego, which was closer to Del Mar. Jace may only be an Alpha in the Los Angeles district, but he had the strongest pack, so he had the most alliances, and so he would generally catch wind of a werewolf passing through, as a respectful heads up.

Luke also told him.

Because Luke wanted things to work out between Jace and Clary.

He never blatantly _said that_ , but Jace could tell.

And he was grateful for it.

He knew that he was up against a lot when it came to Clary, and so he was glad that at least someone who had his ear could vouch for the fact he was a good guy who only wanted what was best for.

Actually, he was pretty sure that she knew.

At least, her  _wolf_  knew.

It was the person who was having a hard time coming to terms with it.

Jace would never  _say_  that to Clary though, that was up to her.

It had been nearly six years, and he was really hoping it was going to happen soon.

Because it was getting harder and harder to operate without his mate at his side.

Jace ran.

He ran for a long time, until the sun was coming up. Then he got back to his car, his thighs burning and streaks of mud and blood on his arms, and he fell asleep in the uncomfortable front seat of his car.

* * *

"Sooooo..." Isabelle wiggled her eyebrows the minute Jace walked through the door. The smug smirk on her face dropped as she took Jace in, obviously not finding what she was looking for as she looked him over. And smelt him. She pursed her lips together and made a face, pulling her fingers through her hair and tossing it over her shoulder. "I was hoping that you didn't come back last night with Maia and Alec because you and Clarissa were getting it on." Jace just arched an eyebrow at her, not responding, as he walked over to the cupboard and took out a glass, and then went to the fridge and leaned the glass against the side where the water filter was.

"Nope," Jace shook his head and sipped from the glass once it was full. Isabelle made a face and sighed.

"Clearly," she muttered. "You smell all...Sweaty. And not in the good, sex way." Jace didn't answer as he finished the rest of the ice water off. Isabelle didn't say anything else as she came over to him and snuggled up against him. She rubbed her cheek against his chest, her arms tight around his waist, just trying to comfort him. Jace didn't respond for a moment, but then he put down his glass and wrapped one arm around her and the other came up to rest on the back of her neck, rubbing it lightly, scenting her.

Jace went upstairs and showered, coming downstairs just as Will Herondale was plucking bacon off Maia's place. Maia snapped her teeth at him and narrowed her eyes. Will just smiled at her and patted her curls, dancing backwards quickly to avoid her hand as she reached out to slap him.

"Nephew," Will smirked at him, and Jace just rolled his eyes before walking into the kitchen.

"Stop bugging my pack," Jace muttered as he looked into the pan where Alec was frying more bacon.

"I  _am_  your pack!" Will said indignantly, although that smirk was still fixed on his face. Jace didn't respond to that, because Will could stand up for himself. Not that Maia  _couldn't_ , but Will made a point of getting on the nerves of pretty much everyone. Alec emptied the panful of bacon onto the plate, and then began to put more into the pan. Jace lifted his head to look out the window as he heard a car coming up the driveway, and a few moments later, it appeared through the trees and Jace's eyebrows pulled together as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the time.

"What's he doing here?" Jace muttered under his breath. "He should be on his way to school." Isabelle turned around in her seat at the kitchen table to look through the window and grinned as she saw her little brother get out of the car, not even bothering to shut the drivers side door properly, before jogging up to the house.

"Alec! Jace!" Max Lightwood announced loudly as he pulled open the door. He practically threw himself against his older brother and his Alpha, arms tight around their shoulders. In the past couple of months—probably more over the past year—he had really shot up in height, and he wasn't much shorter than Jace now. He still had a few inches to go before he caught up with Alec though.

"What are you doing here, Max?" Jace asked with a raise of his eyebrow. "You should be on your way to school?"

"I..." Max trailed off before fixing Jace with a charming smile. "I came for breakfast?" It was posed as a question and wasn't entirely untrue, so there was no skip in his heartbeat. But Jace knew that it also wasn't the full truth. Jace just stared at him until Max's smile grew and he wiggled his shoulders a bit. "I came to see if  _she_  was here." Alec stiffened where he was frying the bacon, and he pursed his lips together as he flipped the bacon over in jerky movements. Jace glanced at Alec before he slipped an arm around Max's shoulders and tugged him away.

"We'll get you some breakfast, and then you're off to school, okay?" Jace said, his tone friendly but still stern. Max sighed and made a face but nodded, and he moved over to take a seat beside Alec. Will had begun walking toward the side door, and Jace followed after him, shutting the door behind him and leaning his head against the wooden side of the house. Will was quiet for all of two seconds, before he moved to stand opposite Jace, leaning against the wooden railing that ran around the balcony.

"How did it go?" Will asked. Jace didn't reply for a long few beats, and Will cleared his throat pointedly, until Jace tipped his head forward, away from the wall, and looked at his uncle. " _Jace_..."

"Well, she's not here, is she? So it can't have gone  _that_  great," Jace stated, waving a hand toward the kitchen where some of his pack were eating breakfast.

"But that was never really part of the plan, was it?" Will prompted with a knowing look. "You didn't actually think that you would just show up at her door, take her away from her life, and she would just fall down at your feet and give her her neck?" There was a mocking tone to Will's voice that had Jace glaring, but he knew his uncle was right. Will's nose twitched, and he could obviously smell the upset that was coming off Jace, and he twisted his lips together. He leaned forward and put a hand on Jace's shoulder, thumb pressing firmly into the muscle. "She came back with you. That's saying something." He gave his shoulder a last squeeze before he was heading back into the house.

Will could be frustrating.

He could smug and self-assured, and he acted as though he had knowledge so far beyond Jace's years, even there was only ten years between himself and Jace.

He was the  _much_  younger brother of Jace's father.

He also thought that the Alpha spark was going to be passed onto him, and so there had definitely been tension when Jace was a teenager and Stephen Herondale had begun training Jace to take on the responsibilities and power of an Alpha. But it had waned over the years, and they had settled into a reasonably steady relationship, mainly where Will acted as though he wasn't going to respect Jace's decisions as Alpha, as though he had free range, but generally he did, and he even offered helpful advice from time to time.

And Will had been right in what he said.

Clary could have stayed in New York.

Jace would never have  _forced_  her to come back with him, and she knew that.

At least, he really  _hoped_  she knew that.

He and Clary had a bumpy start to their relationship.

Actually, that was putting it mildly.

Jace had been accompanying his father out to Del Mar to see an Alpha who had attacked several witches who had been minding their own business and had had permission from Stephen to pass through the territory. Jace didn't know the details of what had happened, Stephen had just gotten a phone call and collected Jace and said that they were needed. His father had been worried on the way, Jace could smell it on his Alpha as they drove from their place and to the other township.

The witches hadn't been from just  _any_  coven.

They were from the Idris coven, one of the most powerful in the world, and Valentine Morgenstern had decided to take them on.

It wasn't until a few hours later that they had realized what had happened.

Valentine's wife, Jocelyn Morgenstern, had gone to the witches when she found out they were passing by, because she wanted their help. Whether that help was to kill Valentine, or just to help her get away with her family, Jace wasn't sure, but either way, Valentine had found out, and he had lashed out, both at the witches themselves, and also at his family.

It hadn't been until  _years_  later that Jace knew more of the story.

Valentine and Jocelyn had been married for years, but when Valentine's old friend, Luke Greymark, had come to Del Mar, seeking refuge and somewhere to stay, things shifted. Valentine had been a powerful werewolf, even for such a small pack, but he was angry. He was angry and he kept his pack secluded from others, which was such a strange thing because werewolves were tactile and loving and they liked being around other people, other werewolves. He was jealous and possessive, and not in the way werewolves usually were, more aggressive and vicious. When he saw Jocelyn and Luke becoming close, it seemed to trigger something inside, and he became even more violent than he had been before, toward his small pack and anyone who threatened the strength that he had.

As the Alpha werewolf of the entire California area, Stephen knew Valentine and had been the one to give him permission to live on the land, as he had to several other werewolf packs, but he had only met him a couple of times.

Jace knew that Stephen had regretted not being aware of what had happened with the Morgenstern pack. Because they had all kept to themselves so much, no one had really realized what had happened, so there was no one to report it, but Stephen still blamed himself, because a good Alpha took responsibility for things that went wrong in their territory, whether it was their fault or not.

Jace had killed Clary's father.

The first time he had ever met his mate, he had killed her father.

He and Stephen had gone to the coven, where only two witches were still waiting for them. The coven had only been small, because of how old it was, there were only eleven of them in total, and three had been slaughtered, caught completely off guard by their enemy, and apart from the two that remained behind to prepare the bodies to be transported to be buried, the others were back in Idris. The witches were enraged and preparing their own revenge, and it was only when Jace caught a scent that had made his skin burn and his eyes flare that they had backed down, realizing that there was something more there.

Stephen had recognized the scent, he knew that it was Valentines, and he had driven them to the Morgenstern homestead. Something had felt wrong, the whole way there, and Jace couldn't shake this strange feeling that had settled over him and put him on edge. The minute they pulled up outside the house and got out of the car, Jace got his first full inhale of the scent that had been driving him crazy, and he realized what it was.

His mate.

His mate was  _here_.

Jace had been growling and his eyes glowing and Stephen gave him a surprised look but had let him lead the way, allowing Jace to take charge. They heard shouting and screaming and then there was a sickly sound of flesh ripping and bones breaking, and when they had gotten around the back of the house, they had seen Valentine throwing a red head toward a tree, her petite body slamming against the solid trunk and a sickening crunch sounding out.

Jace barely took stock of the situation before he had flown into action, instinct driving him forward.

 _Now_  Jace knew that the red head had been Valentines daughter,  _Clary_.

 _Now_  Jace knew that Clary had lashed out to protect her mother.

 _Now_  Jace knew that Valentine had been ready to  _kill_  Jocelyn for going to the witches for help.

 _Now_  Jace knew that Valentine had been abusing his family for years, to the point where one of the few pack members had actually died.

Jace hadn't known that when he had ripped Valentines throat out with his teeth.

All Jace had known was that this man had been hurting his mate.

And so he had killed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think x


	5. Chapter 5

Clary only managed to get a few hours of sleep.

In fact, she was pretty sure she didn't actually get any sleep, just kind of closed her eyes and tried not to think about  _everything_  that had happened in the past few hours, and she would feel as though  _maybe_  she was drifting into unconsciousness, but then her eyes would open of their own accord and she would be wide awake again.

She was in her old room and it felt strange to be back here without any particular reason. And while it was her old room, it wasn't the room that she had grown up in. It was the room that she had been in since she was seventeen, and she had only been in for just over a year, and then when she had come back for visits, which really hadn't been often. It had a lot of her stuff from her bedroom growing up, a lot of the pictures in childish photo frames, books and magazines in the book shelf and her desk organized with her old laptop and pencils and a few writing books. There were still a lot of old clothes in her drawers and wardrobe, and it was lucky that Clary really hadn't grown all that much since she was eighteen—she had always been petite and with werewolf metabolism, it wasn't as though she had ever really put on much weight, just shifting a few pounds here and there.

It was the sun was only just rising outside when Clary got up, moving quietly around the room and over to her drawers. She opened the middle drawer and there were some jeans and shorts and leggings inside. She found a pair of grey and purple leggings and pulled them on, noting that they were a bit tighter around her ass than they would have been a while ago. She didn't know if she was happy or pissed about that, turning on her side to look at her shadowy figure in the mirror and tipped her head to the side as she looked at the curve of her ass. It  _did_  look a little bigger than it did a few months ago. Her attention shifted as she fished a sports bra out of her bag and tugged a shirt on and then slipped her phone into the slim pocket against her thigh. She had only packed one other pair of shoes when she had been coming here from here apartment, but there were a pair of running shoes in her wardrobe, so she pulled them on and walked out of her room.

She was glad she was on the first floor, because there was a good chance that she would wake people up if she was on the second floor. Although Luke had mentioned that he was getting the walls reinforced with sound proofing, something that was pretty much a  _requirement_  when being a werewolf, given how acute their hearing was.

Clary closed the front door behind her, taking in a deep breath of the crisp, morning air that smelt absolutely  _nothing_  like New York. She was hit with so many memories as certain smells twined together, reminding her of growing up, and she shook her head, jerking her hair back roughly in a ponytail before jumping down the couple of stairs leading up to the deck, and was then running.

Her wolf was happy.

She was preening and jumping and running around inside Clary, stretching out through her limbs and pushing her to run faster, faster.

Clary ran in the city, of course, but she couldn't run like she did here. She couldn't open herself up and let herself be free, and holding herself back had actually become so second-nature to her, that she actually had to force herself to remember that she could  _let_  go. The toes of her shoes dug deeper into the ground, pushing herself to go faster and actually feeling the muscles of her body straining a little as she ducked and weaved and then all of a sudden she was skidding to such a fast stop that her body seized up a bit and then she was crashing to the ground and rolling over and she could feel branches and stones tugging and scratching at her, but none of the pain lasted very long, all of them healing quickly when she finally stopped rolling and stared up at the sky through the leafy branches above her.

Her breathing slowed down and she squeezed her eyes shut.

There were certain smells that were never going away.

There were certain memories that were never going away.

Clary turned her head to the side and the clearing that she had grown up in was right in front of her.

Jace had been right, the whole place looked so much different from how it used to, and it smelt a whole lot different as well—it smelt  _better_ , because it could never smell any worse, although there were still familiar scents still wound into the very fabric of this place.

Clary swallowed hard as she lifted herself up so that she was sitting, legs spread out in front of her, dirt and thin slivers of blood scattered over her arms from the cuts that were already healed, and she let her eyes travel around. The place where the old house had been was now a clearing, and it was filled with little bushes and trees that were a lot newer than the ones around it, but that had taken root and were beginning to grow and climb.

Because of how much newer these trees were, it was obvious that this was a young part of the forest, but someone who walked by would never have guessed the horrors that went on here.

The person that had nearly killed Clary, and her mother, and her brother.

And the other person who  _had_  killed her father.

Clary wasn't sure how she was meant to react, being back in this place after six years of refusing to set foot in it, had refused to be in the same part of the  _country_  as it most of the time. She didn't feel sad—she had long ago stopped feeling—and she didn't feel angry, because the anger that she had felt in the years that had followed that fateful afternoon had been nearly enough to consume her, and she refused to let herself feel that way again.

She felt...Resigned, she guessed.

Maybe she wished that she felt a little more relieved and  _happy_  that this whole place was gone and it was never going to inflict any more pain on her again, but she didn't, because even all these years later, she was still feeling all the wounds that this place had inflicted on her. She still had scars on her body that even werewolf healing hadn't been able to fix, not from the silver and the wolfsbane whips and lashes that she had received. The physical scars weren't the ones that affected her everyday, though.

It was the emotional ones that ran a lot deeper, and that stopped her from being able to trust someone with her wolf and with her heart, even her own mate.

Clary took in a deep breath through her nose and still caught hints of ash and soot that was buried deep in the dirt underneath her feet. She let her eyes open and glow gold as she stared back up at the sky, which was beginning to turn blue, and then the silence was broken by her phone ringing and vibrating against her leg. Clary let her eyes shift quickly back to their human bright green and reached into the pocket to pull out her phone.

 _Raph_.

Clary didn't think twice before swiping her thumb across the screen to answer the call, lifting it up to her ear.

"Hey," she answered, feeling her body relax.

"Hey," Raphael answered, his voice smooth and calm. "I wanted to give you a call to make sure everything was alright before I went to sleep." Clary pulled her phone away from her ear and saw that it was almost half past six. She did the math in her head and wrinkled her nose as she brought her phone back to her ear.

"Shit, it's after nine back home," she told him. "You should be asleep."

"Not before I talked to you," Raphael continued. "Is everything okay?" Clary let out a long breath, rolling her shoulders and her neck, letting her body loosen up.

"I'm going to be," Clary responded.

"Is this to do with everything that's been going on with you for the past few months? Because there's been so much magic around you recently...I know that you're needing Simon's help just to get through the day," Raphael said and Clary winced because it was true. Raphael had only mentioned it once or twice, even though it was glaringly obvious to anyone supernatural, but especially to a vampire who had over a hundred years of experience who had known her for nearly two years and had seen the way she had gone downhill.

"Yeah, I guess it is," Clary didn't really get into it, even though she knew that Raphael deserved a better explanation that what she was giving him. It wasn't as though he didn't know about Jace, and he definitely knew that something had happened with her family, although he had never pried very much. He had a lot that had happened with his own family, and Clary knew that his only living relative was his younger sister who was now in a rest home.

"Okay, well, you have my number, so you ring whenever you need it, even if it's in the middle of the day," Raphael told her and Clary couldn't help her smile. She knew that Raphael would be there for her, even if it was one in the afternoon in, which was the same as one in the morning for the rest of them.

"I know, thanks," Clary murmured. Raphael didn't say anything for a few long moments, and Clary just felt better knowing that he was on the other end of the phone.

"Alright," Raphael said quietly. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Raph," Clary replied before taking her phone away from her ear. She looked down at the screen for a few beats, waiting until the screen turned black and then she tucked it into the pocket down the side of her leg. Things with Raphael were easy, and they were that way because both of them knew that they weren't going to last forever. Raphael knew that Clary had a mate, and Clary knew that Raphael was going to outlive her by decades. They both got on and they were comfortable with each other and things were relaxed and she liked what they had.

But what they had was nothing compared to just a few seconds of that fire that she felt when Jace had touched the back of her neck.

Clary spent a few minutes breathing in the air, just thinking about what she was meant to be doing for the rest of the day—for the rest of the  _week_ —she had no idea how long she was going to be here for, and then decided to get back to the house. It took her ten minutes to run back, going at a slower pace than before, even though her wolf wanted to be reckless and run as fast as she could go, and when she broke through the treeline, she couldn't help but feel love bubble up inside her.

Catarina Loss was sitting on the deck of the house, on the swing seat that was very similar to the one that had been on the deck of their first house. She had a thick blue blanket wrapped around her, and her unruly hair was in a braid over her shoulder. She didn't look in Clary's direction as she came toward the stairs, but there was a gentle smile on her face which said that she knew Clary was right there.

"Hey, baby," Catarina murmured as Clary came over and got onto the seat next to her, and she lifted her arm to wrap around the younger girl. "It's been a while since I've seen you. I knew you would be back," she smoothed Clary's hair away from her face, the strands that escaped the hair tie. "You belong here, baby."

It annoyed Clary when Simon told her that she needed to go back to Del Mar, and it annoyed Clary when her mother said it.

It was different when it was Catarina.

The woman was the emissary of the Greymark pack, and she had been the emissary of the Morgenstern pack before then. She was a powerful warlock, a healer, and she was one of the only members who had been there through the whole mess that was Clary's childhood, and then through Valentine's downfall and now she was still here.

Clary snuggled herself into Catarina's side, pulling her legs up onto the swing seat as well, and she turned her head into Catarina's shoulder, taking in deep breaths of the healer scent, of the comforting magic that surrounded her, and she let herself be lulled into sleep finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments make me happy xx


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh my god," Clary breathed out with a smile as she looked around at the bustling markets. "It's exactly the same as when I was last here." Jocelyn, now Jocelyn Greymark, smiled and wrapped an arm around Clary's shoulders, pulling her in tight against her side and and pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I'm glad you're back," Jocelyn told her. "And I'm not—I'm not saying that as in you're back  _permanently_ ," she gave Clary a small smile before pulling away to adjust the canvas bags on her arm. "You ready?"

"Yeah," Clary smiled back at her mum as they walked from the car park and toward the markets. Clary used to come here a lot when she was younger, almost every week, up until she left for New York. Werewolves weren't big fans of pesticides and food that had been overly processed—although Clary did have a weak spot for fried chicken and cream filled donuts—and so coming to the markets and getting fresh fruit and vegetables that were all natural, or as close to natural as possible, were the best way to go. Jocelyn had her main spots that she went to, and Clary trailed along behind her, happy to just watch everything around her.

It was her second day back at home, and she was steadily feeling better than she had in  _so long_. She was trying not to think about it too much, but it was hard not to, when her body and her wolf had pretty much been rejecting her over the past year and a bit. Simon had called her last night, pissed off that she disappeared without explaining things to him, but also grudgingly happy for her that she had gone back home and was feeling better without needing Simon's magic. Clary still wasn't sure what was happening, how long she was going to be staying, so she was just taking everything one step at a time.

"Clary?" Jocelyn asked, tilting her head to the side and raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"What?" Clary blinked, focusing on her mum.

"Did you want one?" Jocelyn waved a finger at a stall that was selling organic juices and Clary nodded before looking over at another stall that was selling jewelry. She walked over and flashed a smile at the young girl who was sitting behind the set up desk and reached out to touch some of the bracelets. There were lots of multi-coloured ones, and she trailed her fingers over a few groupings, picking up a necklace with a bone carving, trailing her finger over the bone before her head snapped up.

Jace.

She could smell Jace.

"Are you alright?" The girl with pink in her hair behind the desk gave her a funny look, and Clary guessed that she did look a bit odd, gripping the necklace so tightly that the bone was now cutting into the palm of her head as she whipped her head around, trying to find out where the scent was coming from. There were so many smells surrounding them, coming up from the beach and from throughout the market, and she couldn't pinpoint the direction that it was coming from.

Until she could suddenly see him.

And a stunning girl with dark hair and bright red lipstick.

And they were walking straight toward Jocelyn.

Clary blinked and watched as they approached her mother, and she turned around and smiled widely at them, and then she reached out and  _hugged_  Jace. Jace was smiling as he gave her a squeeze and then pulled back, and then the dark haired girl leaned in to hug Jocelyn as well. She and Jocelyn started talking animatedly, while Jace's head turned, and then his eyes landed directly on her, and Clary felt a jolt run through her body.

"Are you going to buy that?" The girl behind the desk asked and Clary turned back to the girl, but there was this rushing sound in her ears and she  _knew_  that Jace was getting closer even though her back was now to him, and she was staring down at this stupid necklace that had now left indents in her palm.

"Uh," Clary swallowed hard.

"Do you like it?" Jace asked, suddenly behind her,  _right there_ , and Clary's body was simultaneous on complete edge, like it had been set on fire and there were a thousand little sparklers embedded underneath her skin, and incredibly relaxed and sated all at this same time.

The whole thing was fucking ridiculous.

"No," Clary stated and dropped the necklace back to the table. The pink haired girl arched an eyebrow at her, and Clary flashed her a quick, apologetic smile before picking up about ten bracelets that were tied together with a little string. They were all in blues and greens with little metal beads and it was the sort of thing that she would actually wear. "But I like these."

"Okay," Jace nodded, and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.

"Oh, no—it's fine," Clary took her own wallet out of the front pocket of her jeans, but Jace was already opening his up and pulling out a twenty dollar note. The pink haired girl had big eyes as Jace handed the money to her with a friendly smile, which Clary could understand, because Jace was beautiful.

"D-did you want a bag?" The girl asked, looking back at Clary.

"It's okay," Clary told her with a small smile, slipping the bracelets onto her wrist. They didn't quite sit the way she would like, but that was because they still had a little string keeping them all together. She would sort it out later. Right now she just needed to get some space.

"Thank you," Jace gave the girl another smile and then looked at Clary expectantly. She gave him a small nod and they stepped away from the stall. They didn't head over to where Jocelyn and Jace's friend was standing, they started walking toward where the grass turned to sand, leading onto the beach. "You seem...Better," he noted as they walked through the last of the stalls and were able to have a unhindered view of the beach.

"I feel better," Clary dipped her head in another nod. "Which you undoubtedly already know." Jace nodded and he took in a deep breath and then looked back at Clary stopped. He watched as she leaned down to take off her sandals and roll up the hem of her jeans. "It's been  _forever_  since I've felt sand underneath my feet," Clary couldn't help but smile up at Jace, and Jace blinked at her, looking surprised, and Clary quickly dropped her face, because that might have been the first time she had given him a smile that felt completely genuine and came from deep in her stomach.

Clary straightened back up, her sandals in one hand and she wiggled her feet around a little bit, so that they sunk in the sand, and she took in a deep breath, drawing in the salty breeze from the ocean and the happiness from the people at the market and...And Jace. She started walking to the beach, but she made sure to half turn her body back for the first couple of steps, so that she was angled toward Jace and he didn't feel as though she was walking away from him. He walked slowly, about a step and a half behind her, letting her lead the way.

Clary walked all the way to the water front, into the shallow water, so that it trickled over her feet and lapped at her ankles. She closed her eyes, tipping her head backwards to look up at the clear blue sky, the sun just behind her and squinting through her eyelashes. Jace stayed where the white sand was still dry, just a few feet behind her and he tried to just  _breathe_  despite how happy his wolf was, practically throwing itself against Jace's rib cage, trying to escape and reach out for Clary.

After a few moments, she turned back around to look at Jace, letting her chin dip back down and met his eyes.

It wasn't just a short meet of the eyes either, it was drawn out and intense, and Jace couldn't help but let the red in his eyes show. Clary responded in kind, her eyes glowing a gorgeous gold that was striking with her red hair that was curling around her face and blowing gently in the breeze in front of her eyes.

Jace's stomach jumped into his throat and his eyes flashed brighter for a moment before he cleared his throat and dropped his eyes to where the water was licking at the sand, letting his eyes settle back to their normal colour. Clary's toes came into his line of sight as she took a few steps forward, trailing her toes in the sand, kicking up little tufts that quickly got washed away by the water. Jace let his eyes lift upward, over her legs and torso and then settling back on her face.

"We need to talk," Clary stated.

"We do," Jace nodded, surprised and  _very_  glad that she was the one who had prompted that discussion. She glanced around, eyes falling on a German Shepherd that was jogging through the water near them, and then over to where it's owner, a dad with his little girl, was standing. "Now probably isn't the time."

"Or...More the place just doesn't really work," Clary pointed out.

"Yeah, the time has come and gone a few times over," Jace pointed out, cracking a small smile that obviously wasn't meant to be cruel. Clary rolled her eyes playfully before planting both of feet solidly in the sand and looking up, taking in a deep breath through her teeth.

"Thank you," she told him. Jace's eyebrows pulled together.

"For bringing you back?" He asked.

"Nah, for what you did," Clary swallowed hard and lifted her hand to scratch the side of her neck, her eyes dropping, and Jace was surprised by the nervousness that was coming off Clary in waves. "What you did the first time we met. That night. In the woods." Clary's fingernails moved and scratch at the side of her nose, and Jace wanted to reach out to her, and pull her in close to them.

That's what he would do with any member of his pack.

And Clary was so much more than that.

But he just flexed his fingers at his side, curled them into fists and didn't move from where he was standing.

"I never said that—said thank you," Clary took another step so that she was directly in front of Jace. He had only ever been this close to her twice before, and one of those times had been just a few days before when he had dropped her off at Luke's house, so he struggled to. "I've never said that. It's not like we've ever talked about it, or anything...But I kinda figured out in therapy a few years ago that I couldn't blame you for...Anything. In fact, I should thank you."

Jace blinked at her.

"You have a therapist that you've talked to about this?" He asked.

"She's a vampire," Clary's lips pulled back in a sheepish smile, obviously glad for the slight change in topic. "I tried seeing a human one but it got way to hard to twist things to be...Understandable to them. Raph—" she blinked before changing quickly what she was saying. "A friend recommended her to me, and it's amazing. Years and years of wisdom in there."

"I guess so," Jace shrugged and he rolled his shoulders backwards, and he was happy for her, happy that she had someone who could help her.

"I kind of guess that we're going to need to talk about a lot and I figure that maybe I'll just...Get that out of the way," Clary said, and she finally let her hand drop to her side, stopping with scratching at her face, a nervous gesture. "Before we really get any further." Jace nodded and then winced a little.

"It's probably not something you ever thought you'd be thanking anyone for," Jace murmured, he licked his lower lip nervously as he thought back to the night that he had first met Clary, one that replayed itself every time he closed his eyes. Given he had met his mate that day, it was one of the best of his life. But for Clary, it had to be one of the worst, if not  _the_  worst, although Jace had heard stories from Luke and Jocelyn about when she was younger, and maybe of those were the worst. But he knew that it had to rank low on that list.

"It's more...The you saving my ass sort of thank you, not what followed," Clary dropped her eyes back to the water. "The stuff that came after...I don't want to talk about that with you. At least, not right now." Jace nodded quickly, because he could absolutely understand that.

Although they would have to talk about it.

And honestly, Jace had been waiting six years, and he was ready for answers.

But he also understood he couldn't force Clary.

He didn't  _want_  to force Clary.

"Maybe we should...Meet up. Some time.  _Soon_ ," Jace said and Clary looked hesitant, but she nodded a couple of times. "Did you want me to come over to Luke's?" Clary's eyes widened and she shook her head sharply once.

"No, uh—maybe yours?" She suggested, but she looked like she regretted it as soon as she said it. Jace could imagine how overwhelming stepping into his pack home for the first time, especially given their bond wasn't  _that_  strong, and she wouldn't be able to use him to anchor her.

"There's a place I've been working on," Jace began. "It's not our pack house, it's somewhere that I'm...Doing myself," he wasn't about to tell her that while renovating the old barn house, he was thinking about somewhere that Clary might be comfortable one day. "It's still on the same property, but it's not quite—"

"The same as your place," Clary nodded quickly. "Okay."

"Yeah?" Jace tried not to let his face break out in a huge smile and scare her off, so he took in a deep breath and probably had a really awkward wobbly expression on his face. "Did you want to come tonight?" Clary blinked.

"Uh," her eyes widened and glowed a golden colour that she was clearly trying to suppress, and then her hand lifted and went to her neck again, reaching back and scratching, fingers pressing just underneath the curve of her jaw. Jace's eyes dropped to her hand, and he couldn't help but think that the spot that she had touched twice in the past couple of minutes was the same spot where he had touched her just a couple of days ago. "Can we make it tomorrow? Tomorrow morning?"

"You got plans already?" Jace asked, already knowing as the words came out that he sounded a little...Too curious.

"I've got a friend coming in tonight. He's  _just_  a friend," Clary quickly said. "Flying in tonight. He was pretty insistent that he come...Usually I can't get through a couple of nights away from him, so he really wants to check on me."

"Right," Jace jerked his head in a nod, because he knew that Clary had a completely separate life in New York that he had no idea about it, and that he was going to need to learn about it and the people in it.

"He's totally harmless," Clary continued, as though to reassure him. "And I know generally people speak directly to you when someone supernatural is coming into the district, but...Luke said that he was going to see you today and so I asked that he talk to you about it." Jace nodded, and couldn't help but be a little disappointed that Luke hadn't prompted Clary further to ask herself, but he knew that Luke was just doing what was best for Clary. "He's a warlock, but...He's just here to see me, not to cause any trouble."

Jace had heard Clary speak several times before now. A  _lot_  of times, actually, even if most of those times were just talking to other people and not directly to him. But none of those times had she sounded as nervous as she did right now.

He really didn't like it, but there wasn't much he could do about it now.

"I think your friend is trying to get your attention," Clary pointed over Jace's shoulder and he turned around to see Isabelle no longer with Jocelyn, but on the sand and waving pointedly at him. Jace nodded and he turned back around, to say something to Clary before they parted ways although he wasn't too sure what, but she was already walking past him, toes splashing out of the water, and walking up onto the beach. Jace watched her go, chewing down on his lower lip, and then caught Isabelle pulling faces at him, undoubtedly mocking him.

"Always a charmer," Jace muttered as he started walking toward his beta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think x


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